Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
