If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
