Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
