I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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