Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
