Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
