Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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