apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
