bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize