He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She bit a glass in half.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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