So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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