I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
