Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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