"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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