Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
