Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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