Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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