sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
