would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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