sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
