So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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