I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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