he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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