The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude. I can hear the air.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
