I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
