my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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