My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
