I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I puked a lego.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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