there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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