I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Found the puke drawer
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize