We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
