we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
