Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
