When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
