Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
