From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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