There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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