Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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