I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
