Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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