is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sober January is a disaster.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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