for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
