She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
