Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
