His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
