It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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