I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
