So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
