I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
