The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
