your parents love me but you hate me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
