Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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