If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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