Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
