I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
