fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
