I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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