he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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