He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
