Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
