My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
