maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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