How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
