shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
