That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
