Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
