I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
