No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have fence marks all over my body
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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