you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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