She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just pee around me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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