maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
is it fun? or sober?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
