i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
