I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
