wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need a beard to bite.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
